I spent over 5 years combined exclusively breastfeeding my babies. I attribute this successful (for me!) achievement to a number of things:
🤍stubbornness
🤍confidence
🤍privilege & luck
🤍resourcefulness
🤍supportive family & community
🤍accommodating work environment
🤍temporary nipple shield use
🤍tongue tie release
🤍side-lying nursing
And the one I'm really here to talk about - laziness.
A major parenting strategy for me is energy preservation. And while the first 6+ months of my baby's life means my life revolves around a 2-3 hour feeding schedule, surrendering to that short term intensity feels 100% worth it to reap the benefits of doing WAY fewer repetitive, long term tasks.
Are there downsides to being the only one to feed your baby milk? YES, of course. Is this not even an option for some? YES, of course. But if you're pregnant or could be soon, and breastfeeding is a priority for you, build up your knowledge AND your support system long before baby arrives. Nursing can be really easy, but there are often obstacles in those early weeks that can be hard to manage without good support.
Yes, there's a steep learning curve to breastfeeding a new baby. But once established, it requires the absolute least effort, energy, and thought for long term feeding. Using formula is often presented as the “easy way out.” Pumping bottles is positioned as a way for others to “help” during the early days.
But most of the time, one of these “easy” choices early on creates a set point for energy exertion that will last, at minimum, 12 months. If you feed with bottles, you will always need to:
track consumption and shifts in baby’s needs
have bottles to maintain and wash
keep formula stocked ($)
be responsible for the calculations and logistics required to prepare for any outing - with or without you
Exclusive breastfeeding means:
No measuring or adjusting to the right serving size
No running out of formula
Nighttime feeding with minimal activity/need for thinking
No measuring or adjusting to the right serving size
Custom formulation created by your body, on the spot, based on what your baby needs - no thinking involved
No washing pump parts
Quickest access for a hangry baby
No bottle prep when leaving the house
What’s your vision?
There are a variety of desires and goals when it comes to establishing a breastfeeding relationship. It’s totally fine if you don’t know how you’re going to feel or what you want. But it’s definitely helpful to have a general plan whether you’re going to need to feed baby bottles (if/when you go back to work), if you want to give them bottles, or if you really just want to establish nursing and see how things flow.
Breastfeeding or Formula?
It’s also helpful to (even if loosely) decide whether you are comfortable using formula or if it’s something you really want to avoid. It’s not too bold or stubborn to want to stick to breastmilk and to find the support you need to make that happen. I think in our culture’s attempt to de-stigmatize formula use, we’ve accidentally communicated that it’s not reasonable to work really hard to feed your baby breastmilk only. Formula is a completely valid, wonderful option. And it’s okay to try to avoid it and make that explicitly clear to your support team:
“I need help and I need resources, but formula is not on the table for me at this time, so please work around that.”
Keep things 🥰 Exclusive
No matter your long term plan, when you are first beginning a nursing relationship, I suggest trying to make it a two party relationship - just you and your baby. Get a Breast Pump just in case (insurance should cover it), but hide it. Keep it out of eyesight. If you want to establish breastfeeding, let your breasts and your baby be the main characters whenever possible.
The same goes for Milk Collectors like the Haaka. I know that people swear by these, and I’ve used them a few times myself (avoiding rigidity makes life better). But just keep in mind that while the suction is much less intense than a breastpump, it is sending a signal when the milk lets down that that milk is wanted, and that your body should proceed. If you don’t “reward” the letdown with milk collection cups like this, your body is much more likely to get the memo that baby is the one who gets the milk, and only on one side at a time. Keep in mind, this is not a science! Every body works differently.
Freezer Stash
Many people are eager to get a stash of milk in the freezer, and that’s where the Haaka Milk Collector can come in handy. You can gather a few ounces at a time without getting out the whole pump. And the anxious part of my brain always thinks - yes, a freezer stash is good and important! But in reality, you want your body producing the right amount of milk for YOUR baby. Not for your baby plus extra (unless you have a more uncommon situation).
Return to Work Pumping
There is a common misconception that you want to build up a big stash before returning to work. I'm sure you've seen photos of freezers full of breastmilk bags. But in reality, you really only need to have milk pumped for the next day when you’ll be away, as you’ll need to maintain your pumping schedule from the office. If your baby is eating a bottle, you should be pumping an equivalent feed. Meaning… maternity leave isn’t a time to stock up a bunch of milk. You don’t want to be feeding your baby AND pumping, as you’ll likely create an oversupply, engorgement, leaking, discomfort, etc. If you know your baby will need to take bottles eventually, it will make sense to pump and then bottle feed every once in a while, but it’s not recommended to start this until breastfeeding is well established - around 4-5 weeks.
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